Grief isn’t something you get over—it’s something you learn to live with, honor, and transform into a source of strength.

“Grief is not something you get over-it’s something you learn to carry. It reshapes you, challenges you, and teaches you to find strength in places you never knew existed. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting; it means honoring the love that remains and allowing yourself to keep living.”

– CarolAnn Tutera

Grief is one of the most profound and challenging emotions we experience in life. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a pet, or even a version of ourselves that we once knew, grief has a way of reshaping our world in ways we never expected. Yet, in the midst of sorrow, there is also resilience, healing, and the possibility of rediscovering joy. CarolAnn Tutera, a leader in hormone replacement therapy and a woman who has faced tremendous personal loss, knows this journey all too well. Through her experiences of losing her husband and beloved pets, she has gained deep insights into how we process grief, the importance of self-care, and the power of embracing both pain and healing.

In this intimate and thought-provoking conversation, CarolAnn opens up about her journey through loss and the strategies that have helped her navigate grief. She shares how spirituality, self-care, and meaningful connections have allowed her to move forward without forgetting the love she has lost. Her words offer comfort and wisdom to anyone struggling with loss, reminding us all that grief is not about letting go—it’s about carrying love forward in a way that allows us to keep living.

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Thank you so much for joining us, CarolAnn! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your backstory?

Thank you for having me back. It’s always a pleasure chatting with you. My late husband and I started the field of pellet therapy, which focuses on hormone balance to help people age gracefully. Without him, it wouldn’t be where it is today. It’s something I’m really passionate about because when hormones are in check, people feel like themselves again.

But lately, my journey has taken a more personal and emotional turn. I’ve been navigating loss—deep, personal loss. First, my husband passed, and that in itself was a seismic shift in my life. Then, I lost one of my beloved dogs, and now, my other dog is at the end of her life. It’s been an incredibly painful time, and it’s forced me to confront grief in a way I never expected. Grief isn’t something that just passes or disappears. It lingers, it reshapes you, and most of all, it teaches you how to navigate life in a new way.

You’ve said that grief is something we learn to live with rather than something we simply “get over.” Can you explain what you mean by that?

Absolutely. There’s this common idea that grief is something we overcome, like a mountain we climb and eventually leave behind. But that’s not how it works. You don’t just wake up one day and suddenly feel fine. The people and pets we love are woven into the fabric of our lives, and when they’re gone, that fabric doesn’t just repair itself—it changes.

What we do is learn to live with grief, to acknowledge it, to allow ourselves to feel it instead of shoving it away. I still think about my husband every day. I even talk to him. There are moments when something happens, and I instinctively want to share it with him—only to be hit with the reminder that he’s not physically here. But in those moments, I remind myself that he is still with me in other ways. That’s the difference between “getting over” something and learning to carry it in a way that doesn’t break you.

Losing a loved one, whether human or animal, can be devastating. What advice would you give to someone struggling with loneliness after such a loss?

First, know that loneliness is a normal part of the grieving process. After my husband passed, I still had my dogs, and they gave me a sense of companionship that softened the blow. But now, as I prepare for the inevitable loss of my last dog, I’m facing an entirely new challenge—true solitude.

My advice is to allow yourself to grieve, but don’t let loneliness become a permanent state. It’s okay to be alone, but it’s not okay to let that loneliness define you. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, even if you don’t feel like socializing. Find small ways to engage with the world—a walk in the park, a phone call to a friend, a new hobby that brings you joy. And most importantly, reach out. People don’t always know how to support someone who’s grieving, so sometimes, you have to be the one to take that step.

That’s so true. Sometimes people don’t know what to say, so they stay silent, which can make grief even harder.

Exactly. In the immediate aftermath of loss, there’s an outpouring of love and support, but as time passes, people return to their lives, and suddenly, you’re left alone with your grief. It’s one of the hardest parts of loss—feeling like the world has moved on while you’re still stuck in this emotional whirlwind.

I’ve learned that it’s crucial to build a strong support system, but also to become my own source of strength. If people stop reaching out, I remind myself that it’s not because they don’t care—it’s just that life keeps moving for them. That’s why I make the effort to reconnect, to remind them, “Hey, I still need you.” And if I don’t feel like talking? Writing, meditating, or simply taking a drive can help me process my emotions in a way that feels right for me.

What are some ways you’ve personally coped with grief?

I’ve done a few things that have really helped me navigate this journey. One of the most surprising ones? Crying in the shower. It sounds odd, but it’s a safe space where I can let everything out without feeling like I have to hold it together for anyone. It became my ritual—letting the water wash over me as I released my emotions.

I also find comfort in small, intentional acts of self-care. Taking baths, using a heating pad, lighting a candle, and listening to music that soothes me have all been part of my healing process. Writing has been another huge outlet. I journal my thoughts, my emotions, my memories—whatever needs to come out. And I make sure to eat well, even when I don’t have much of an appetite. It’s easy to neglect yourself when you’re grieving, but taking care of my body has helped me take care of my mind.

How do you stay motivated and keep moving forward despite everything you’ve been through?

I remind myself that my life still has purpose, even if it looks different now. I focus on the things that bring me joy, even in small ways—whether it’s walking in the morning, dressing up just for myself, or listening to an inspiring podcast. I also lean into my work, which has been a grounding force for me. Helping others through SottoPelle Therapy reminds me that I have the ability to make a difference, and that gives me the motivation to keep going.

What have you learned about yourself through this journey of grief?

I’ve learned that I am far stronger than I ever realized. When my husband passed, I didn’t think I would make it through those early months, but somehow, I did. And as I faced more loss, I discovered an inner resilience that I never had to tap into before. I also learned how important it is to honor my emotions instead of suppressing them. There’s power in allowing yourself to feel, to cry, to process, and to heal on your own timeline.

What impact has loss had on your perspective of life?

Loss has completely reshaped how I view life. I’ve realized how fleeting time is and how important it is to truly be present with the people you love. I’ve also learned that nothing—material possessions, titles, or achievements—matters as much as the love and connections we build. Losing my husband and my pets has made me more intentional about how I spend my time and who I surround myself with. I no longer wait for “the perfect time” to do something. I embrace the now, because tomorrow is never guaranteed.

If someone is struggling to find joy again after loss, what advice would you give them?

Give yourself permission to feel happiness again. Sometimes, after a deep loss, people feel guilty for moving forward, laughing, or enjoying life. But our loved ones wouldn’t want us to stay stuck in sadness. Start with small steps—do something you used to love, spend time with people who lift you up, or simply go outside and take in the beauty of the world. Joy isn’t about forgetting, it’s about allowing yourself to live again while carrying the love you lost in your heart.

Before we wrap up, can you tell our readers about the services you provide?

Absolutely. At SottoPelle Therapy, we provide hormone replacement therapy to help people feel like their best selves again. Hormonal balance is crucial for both men and women, and our therapy helps people regain their energy, focus, and overall well-being. When your body is in balance, you feel stronger, both physically and emotionally. You can learn more at SottoPelleTherapy.com.

How can our readers further follow your work online?

You can stay connected with me and my work by following SottoPelle Therapy on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, where we share valuable insights on health, wellness, and hormone balance. I truly enjoy engaging with my community, so feel free to reach out, send a message, or join the conversation—I’d love to hear from you!

This has been an incredible conversation. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and experiences with us. You are truly an inspiration!

Thank you. It’s been a pleasure.